Catherine Week 5: Slip Sliding Week and Emotions Gone Amok

Well I am down one pound this week. Like I said before I am grateful for that. It has not been an easy week. First off, I should say that the film I am supposed to do has been delayed a week. I received the phone call for that mid-week. That is not an unusual thing to happen in the film making world especially with this film. I’ve been on board to do it for just about over a year. I was actually grateful that I had another week as I have been taking antibiotics for an infection on my leg and a possible staph/strep infection that was starting under my tummy and down the inner-sides of my legs. Not fun. Very painful. Just another unpleasant aspect of being  morbidly obese and having diabetes. The antibiotics and the infection has been kicking my you know what. I have been very tired, achy and emotional.

Feeling this way I still went on that audition for the TV pilot and I also had a first meeting with a potential agent. Both went very well in spite of how I was feeling. Walter of course went with me as he helps me get around but I have to tell you he was not happy that I did not cancel my appointments. He felt I should stay home since I am not doing too well at the moment. We even had a fight about it. I know he has my best interests and you know maybe he is right but I felt I had to tough it through. I don’t want to constantly put my life on hold. I have to do so much of that. I don’t like it when we fight and are not on the same page. A part of me feels broken and it is so much harder to stay on track.

I admit, my dear friends, I had a couple of slips this week. One wasn’t very bad but the other was not good.   The first one was I once in a while allow myself a small portion of a few potato chips as a special treat. I make room for it so I can do it. It’s not harmful and doesn’t mess things up. Well  this time I ate two big portions. I tried to justify to myself that I was craving salt because my body needed some salt because of all the heat we have been having but being truthful I did not need to eat the amount of potato chips I ate to take care of my body’s need for salt. It was emotional eating. Plain and simple. I was trying to comfort myself. My second slip was going out of control with ice cream. Yes, ice cream is a trigger food for me and trigger foods should be avoided. I had been avoiding ice cream for a long time but since taking on this new life style I found I can have a little bit of ice cream once in a while as a special treat as long as I make room for it and I avoid the flavors that set off a trigger.

Well folks, I let my emotions get the better of me and I went hog wild. Not an easy thing to admit. Amazing that I even took off a pound this week. Now let me make this clear. I am not blaming Walter lest any of you think I am. I did this myself. I make NO excuses. I DID IT. I OWN IT.

Emotional and emotional eating. How do we deal with them? How do we deal with the emotional eating? When we are on a taking off weight and improving our life journey we can never say that we will not have moments of emotional eating and our emotions getting the better of us. That is just unrealistic. Ahhh, that is the very first thing we must do, accept that we are human. We are perfect in being human but we humans are not perfect. I know I am not perfect and as I write this I am reaffirming all of this to myself. I need to be reminded of things all the time. That is part of my being human. We must give ourselves a break. We must give ourselves forgiveness when we fail. We have to do this. We just won’t be able to move on and succeed. Our attempts are half-hearted and we are cheating ourselves. Forgiving ourselves is key, then we start right back up again. If for some reason you have trouble forgiving yourself try not to wallow. Pray. If you don’t pray meditate. Reach out to a friend. I needed that extra push. I saw my friend Daniel DiCriscio yesterday. Daniel is a lot of ways is the other very shiny side of my coin. We are so much a like. We met when I first moved out here to California 2004. We’ve been very close since. He is one of my greatest supports. Check out his website and have some fun www.DanielDicriscio.net.

I say again, please don’t wallow. It is not worth it. I have spent too much time in my life wallowing and look where it got me. Yes me with the busy show business career. You would be surprised. I thank God I finally lifted my face to the sun and felt the warmth truly for the first time and started getting it together. I can’t guarantee that I won’t have emotional days and could maybe emotionally eat, but I will try and remember my own words.  Oh… and as for Walter and me fighting. We are all right. What married couple doesn’t fight. We have been married for 33 years, together 34 years. We have gone through so much together. This is not about to break us apart.

Have a blessed and wonderful week my friends!!  Feel free to write to me!!!  I will respond.

About CatherineH

I am a NYC gal living in Southern California. I am an actress/singer/model who had a very successful career back in NYC but it was time to make a change. Little did I know that the change would come in the form of me becoming very sick and almost dying. It has been a slow and long process recovering, but I am doing it. I am now disabled but I am learning how to live with it and not let it define me.

4 Responses to Catherine Week 5: Slip Sliding Week and Emotions Gone Amok

  1. marty says:

    Oooof…emotional eating, I know it well. It’s a tough one. Crisps…or potato chips, as you call them over there…are my chief downfall too, it’s impossible to stop once you start. Perhaps it’s just as well there’s an ocean between us, can you imagine the binges we might have together if I lived round the corner? Keep up the brilliant work, one pound off is better than one pound on.

    Love from marty x

  2. Debbie says:

    No biggie….it’s ok….everyone falls off the wagon with whatever they may be going through. You had a bad week and you realize that you had a bout of emotional eating. You’ll get right back on track and continue because you want to and you will do it. I’m sorry to hear about your infection. It must be very painful and uncomfortable for you. My thoughts are with you for a speedy recovery. That Walter….what a guy. You’re very lucky. Be well.

    Debbie

  3. nina says:

    welldone cathie, one ound is one less pound to lose. Think we all eat emotionally from time to time, chocoltae and cheese are my downfalls! The main thing is you admitted your slips and are not letting them defeat you, many would give up where you have carried on fighting, a great showcase of your strength and determination! Keep going, you are doing great! :o) hugs xxxxxx

  4. Beth says:

    Well done Cathie! You are a pound closer to your goal and that is certainly something to be happy about! Everyone emotionally eats wether they admit to it or not, lol. I took down 13 biscuits in five minutes the other week! haha! Every day is a new day and a chance to do better though :) xxx