It sneaks up on you. Like a shark circling it’s weight loss goal with fervor but then realizing there’s a meaty human nearby that looks delicious. I got side tracked by a night out with friends, more sleep, and a deadline of a huge article.
The night out with friends included dinner at one of my favorite restaurants which houses bottomless fries. I love their fries and they give so little because it’s bottomless and all you have to do is snort like a pig and they’ll bring you more. (I made the snort part up, I kinda just feel that way when I order!) This isn’t on my friends, it’s entirely on me. Portion control is a big battle when eating out as most restaurants give us twice to three times the amount of a normal portion size. I try to remember that my stomach is about the size of a fist. So I look at my fist and then I eat about the size of it (not my fist, the food.) I didn’t do it this night but moving forward I’m going to be better. In fact, I should try to figure out some active things to do with my friends. Hiking and tennis is something I’m interested in trying… but it’s so hot here in California. I’m sweating writing this post!
This past week I have been unusually tired. I like to listen to my body. I eat when I’m hungry. I sleep when I’m tired (or you know, down five coffees.) I drink when I’m thirsty. I’m not perfect about it by any means, but I do make a conscious effort to listen inwardly. In fact, I worry that I confuse being tired with being lazy. I don’t trust my judgment of the two. I stay active but more in my brain because of the work I do. I’m a professional artist and writer, so ALL of the work I do is sitting on my butt! My brain is constantly active. Most of the time, I have to do detailed work with my hands, or look at a computer screen for hours. Its not physical, but mentally, I’m exhaustingly drained. I feel like I need to rest but during the little time I have for it, I should be exercising or doing something active.
The last bleeds into the deadline I was working against last week. The article required a ton of research and ended up being six pages long in the end. I would wake up late because I chose to sleep in an extra hour to meet that eight-hour sleep requirement that studies tell me I need. Then I would realize I only have two hours before I have to be at my full-time work so I would skip exercise to go straight into research. The thing about this is I would have done better work if I would have taken at least 30 minutes to exercise. In the end, throughout the week, it would have taken me less time to do this article because I would have been more aware with more brain neuron connectivity as a benefit from the exercise. Of course we never know what could have been, but from past experience and productivity, I do more quality work at a faster pace when I exercise before diving into a project.
Needless to say, I am disappointed. It’s a slump that tries to pull me down when I’m going strong. The only way to keep going is to learn from it. Why do I feel down this week? Because I stopped thinking about how worthy I am of my own attention over my work. I have to be healthy to be at the top of my game, to continue being inspired to create at the top of my intelligence.